Don’t tell me what I want

Since I announced my pregnancy at 12 weeks the question I have been asked the most is do you know what you are having yet?

This is fine although a little early as I won’t find out until the 20wk scan.
What has annoyed me is the most popular comment that obviously I want a boy. In order of course to *complete* my family. Grrr. Just because I have a girl doesn’t automatically mean I am now desperate for a boy. I’d love a boy. I’d love a girl. I can honestly say this time around that I have no preference. Believe it or not. A girl would be fab and wahey I have all the gear.. A boy would be adorable and I do like blue but I’m telling you the truth I don’t mind. I see your face when I tell you this and you just smile and nod but I had 2 months of worrying that my baby would not make it to this point so I’m not being cliched when I tell you I just want he/she to be healthy. In fact I don’t even really want to find out. My partner does and so I will as I don’t have strong feelings against it but please don’t think I will be disappointed ( as one well meaning family member suggested ) if I have a girl again.

We do have some neutral clothes:

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My baby was planned. Not that it’s really any of your business. Yes you .. Lady in the local playgroup who asked if it was an “accident” that I got pregnant so QUICKLY after my first. Quickly being nearly 18months and actually after a really tough 6-8 months of wanting to be pregnant. Even if it wasn’t planned it would not have been a mistake or would I ever call it an accident. My first child was a shock.. Mainly as I had been told I couldn’t get pregnant naturally and so to find out I was nearly 2 months along was a very wonderful surprise but even then no mistake.

Yes my belly is showing already. It’s normal. Second pregnancies show earlier than first as your body remembers what to do and yes I’m sure there is only one in there.

6 months pregnant with my daughter:

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To my work colleagues and to many others who really don’t get it – morning sickness doesn’t just happen in the morning, ginger doesn’t always help and crackers may work once but give it time and they will surely make you heave. Morning sickness is a rather silly name for a truly horrible experience for many women – it’s not made up and really I’m not exaggerating how crappy I have felt. Sitting outside for 5 minutes to catch my breath will not automatically relieve my nausea – I’m not drunk, I’m pregnant.

First trimester sucks:

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If I say I am planning anything.. Festivals, meals out etc – I get the answer of ooh do that now as you will not be able to do that when the baby comes. Really? Will my life end when the baby comes? Yes it will be tough. This I know and harder still with two but remember when you told me I would stop travelling when I had Izzy and then we went to France, Portugal and 3 festivals in her first year.. Well that.

In France:

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At Camp Bestival:

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Chatting to twitter friends it seems we all get questions/comments we don’t like..what is it about pregnancy that makes it ok to actually be quite rude? When is it ok to comment on someone’s weight or marital status? These seem to be the common themes.

Whilst I’m having a moan – HANDS OFF THE BUMP. Unless I know you quite well or you ask then I may get a little annoyed. Sorry but if I gently stroked your stomach wouldn’t you find it a bit well..personal?

The bump as it looks right now:

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And finally yes I know I should sleep now as I won’t get ANY when the baby comes. For once nosey lady in the bank I agree.

*PS I love talking about babies/pregnancy so don’t stop chatting but from me and all pregnant women think before you speak.

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13 thoughts on “Don’t tell me what I want

  1. This rings so true – don’t touch my bump, do you want me to stroke your tummy? I don’t mind if I have two girls, I won’t feel the need to have another baby to try for a boy, I’m perfectly happy with my two girls. And the horrificness of the first trimester which compares to nothing except a never-ending hangover without the fab night out beforehand.

    I hope it is bearable for you and I can’t wait to hear your news when the time comes. Oh and by the way, having a second is nowhere near as hard and unbearable as I was told, so don’t believe that either, you’ll be fine.

      • Aww, I’m glad. So many people told me I wouldn’t cope with two, that it’s so hard, blah, blah, blah. It is harder, first of all, but there’s so much more love, satisfaction, and family fulfilment that the good far outweighs any bad.

  2. Isn’t it bizarre that everyone suddenly thinks it is ok to comment on a person’s size/weight when they are pregnant? I only gained the “average” 25lbs with my daughter and yet still had many people comment on how big I had gotten. Just plain hurtful!

  3. I remember people having an opinion on the shape of my bump!?! Some people just need to keep it closed. Oh, I will remember not to stroke your tum should I see you at Camp B this year 😉 x

  4. I had all those questions and comments. And so many people almost wishing me to be feeling awful when I went overdue, “I bet you’re really fed up” err…no! “are you really uncomfortable?” err…no! It’s like they are jealous so hope you feel worse than them in your blooming state…ignore them all!

  5. Good for you for having a good old moan, being pregnant is hard work made only worse by silly people’s comments. I sure hope you feel better now having ranted a bit 😀 x

    • Ha yes. Nobody has really upset me ..more slightly annoyed but I remember feeling this way last time and lots of people seem to have the same issues from what I’ve read on twitter. Thanks for comment lovely x

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